We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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