My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
