Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize