I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we're making bets on your personal life
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
