respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
