So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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