i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
