If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
and you fell through a lawn chair
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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