I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
