I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
