oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
