Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
