Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
