if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
