well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i out mim tonsoeep
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