hotel room ftw
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
