Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We left the knife in your bed.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
