that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm too high and old for this...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
