Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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