well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
