And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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