He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize