Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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