i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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