I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize