who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
