ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
