I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We left an ass print on the piano.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think i got beer on your cat.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
