I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
