Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize