then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize