i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
