Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
