i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize