Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
