i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
