So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
