Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
