No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
