none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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