Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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