Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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