THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
