Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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