plz talk dirty to me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
