escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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