she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
