Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
