The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
