she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
