Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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