I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
is it fun? or sober?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
