Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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