I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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