this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize