you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
