All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The ass gains better be worth it
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