"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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