I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize