I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
