just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
