My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
