he shaved USA in his pubs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
