you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
