I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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