sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
