Sponge bath it is.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
