I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
