sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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