he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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