WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
