I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize