He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
