Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
