I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
