My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
